Friday, January 15, 2010
One Family's Journey: Bring a Book
I read every adoption book I could get from our public library before we got our referral. Some were helpful, some were scary and some were just dumb, but there is one book that I read that I really think shines above the rest. It's called "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child" by Patty Cogen. This book is not small but I brought it to Bogota anyways and I'm so glad I did because a lot of the advice was right on. It was helpful to read the book before referral but it is a COMPLETELY different experience to re-read and see Elian exhibiting the same characteristics described in the book. Lots of well meaning people will tell you "All a Child needs is love" but in my opinion that is not true. Any adopted child suffers a severe trauma when they are transferred to their new parents; this book taught me how to help him through the transition. We loved Elian long before we ever saw his face but that doesn't make us his parents in his eyes and I think this was one of the main messages of the book. It takes you step by step through how a child will understand the transition and how to teach your child what it means to be part of your family. I really can't recommend it enough. I'm sure there are other good books out there though? If you read one, please share it in the comments!